What’s Best For My Kids?

5 Things to Think About

On Monday I shared thoughts about the constant question I was faced with when separating “But what about the kids?”

I think it’s something a lot of people battle with.

So here are 5 questions that might help if you’re struggling to find to clarity.

1. What are they learning from how things are right now?

It’s not just what you say to them, it’s what they see, what they feel.

They notice the cold silences. The tension. The way you flinch or shut down.

That becomes their normal.

2. Are you showing them how to respect yourself or how to disappear?

If you’re always the one keeping the peace, biting your tongue, holding it all together, they see that too.

One day they’ll do the same, or expect someone else to.

3. Would you want this for them?

Same relationship, same arguments, same sadness.

If they were in your shoes, what would you say to them?

4. What version of family are you modelling?

Families come in all shapes.

It’s not about having two parents in one house, it’s about feeling safe, loved, and seen.

Are they feeling that right now?

5. Who are they getting right now?

If staying is draining you, if you’re constantly stretched thin, snappy, disconnected, they’re not getting the version of you that you want them to have.

You’re surviving, not living.

Final thoughts:

You’re not selfish for asking these questions.

You’re not breaking your family by being honest.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do for your kids is to stop pretending it’s fine.

If this resonates with you email me at kim@aftershite.com I’d love to see how I can support you.